There is no question this cancer thing stinks. But the question keeps coming back to me; “Then what’s the difference walking by faith?”
My friend Rob, messaged me the other night, asking about things and encouraging me to look for the *Wink of God’s mischief that might be afoot.
I will admit that those who don’t share my convictions about Jesus might take my comical view of things as a bit perverse or delusional. But like Rob, I’ve found that in every tragic turn, I’ve seen God’s grace in the aftermath. And, just as Pascal argued, what’s the alternative? Nothing that suits my worldview.
As it stands now, I’m going through the mobilization phase of the stem cell transplant. Last Friday, they began the process of killing off all of my white blood cells with a megadose of Cytoxan. For ten to fourteen days, I am fighting off the nausea, avoiding infections and taking daily shots of Neupegen to rebuild stem cell growth. Each day at 1 PM I sit in Meg’s office after she has laid out all the needles and receive those four shots. Then she cleans the Hickman catheter with rinsing injections of Heparin.
Beginning the eighth of October I go in each day to Kaiser to check the growth progress and sometime around the 13th I should be ready to donate my own stem cells.
I took a break from writing this to get those shots and now I’m heading to the front couch to look out on the newly installed plants at the parsonage. The last few days have really stimulated the growth and there are plumes, flowers and new shoots growing. Maybe that’s the wink I’m looking for.