What Me Worry?

I’ll admit to a geeky period in childhood when Alfred E. Neumann and Mad Magazine captured my affections. I loved “Spy vs. Spy” and how the back page could be folded to answer a summary question about the whole back page picture. Most of all, I was curious about the pie-faced kid known as Alfred E.  Not a care in the world.

That wasn’t my world (probably why it captivated me). Mine was rife with chaos and turbulence. We weren’t known as latch-key kids back then but we pretty much raised ourselves in those days; my sis, brother and me. I was not exactly the paragon of older brother virtue.

When my dad was around it was full of booze-laden vitriol and kids walking on eggshells.  When he was gone, my mom took up the drinking. She was a sad drunk and wanted syrupy sweet crying sessions about everything.

Professionals will now tell you that is the seedbed for enablers.  As the oldest I began to fix everything. I had a duty and that was to control the environment and keep everything on task. I attacked school and boy scouts with a passion, not for the experience but as a way of working myself into deservability.

Nathaniel Hawthorne’s character Goodman Brown said; “the devil in his own shape is less hideous than when he rages in the breast of man”. It’s that precise unholy alliance that produces insecurity, worry, self-interested preservation; just about every vice there is in establishing identity.

Psalm 131 is an invitation to a fully developed sense of self and identity. It is a grace-filled invitation to return to the partnership that was originally intended. Whether we end up looking like Alfred E or the Pillsbury doughboy, it doesn’t matter nearly so much as what the Lord of heaven has put in your heart.  That is a beautiful personage.

 

One thought on “What Me Worry?

  1. How sad. My parents did not drink, but I had sister-in-law who lived with us who was a drunk and ran around with other men while my brother was overseas. She was a tramp.
    You just want to be accepted as you are and what you are. And I do.

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